When VIT and I got married she promised to Love, Honour and Obey me.  (Yeah, don’t laugh but she did, wearing her red shoes and looking fabulous.)  I had just promised to Love, Honour and Worship her.  Whether or not you like the idea of a woman promising to obey her husband, there is a [...]]]>

When VIT and I got married she promised to Love, Honour and Obey me.  (Yeah, don’t laugh but she did, wearing her red shoes and looking fabulous.)  I had just promised to Love, Honour and Worship her.  Whether or not you like the idea of a woman promising to obey her husband, there is a mutuality about this promise – she has to obey me – but I have to worship her.  Hold on to that thought for a moment.

No one tells you when your other half becomes a VIT quite how much control is surrendered. Their own control over their life, and the VFITs over theirs.    It’s partly practical – “you shall be at Morning Prayer” – but that’s really only a sign of something much bigger.

When someone is ordained (or when they’re licenced as a reader) they have to promise to obey their bishop “in all things lawful and godly.”  Most parts of the church take this promise very seriously indeed.  This requirement for obedience appears to extend to ordinands too, although VIT (as an ordinand) has never formally had to swear any oath of obedience.

So, here’s a question.  Has the church thought about the mutuality of this obedience?  Will the church, and its leaders in particular, worship their ordinands in return?

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