Part of VIT’s training is to go to a parish not too far from Coverdale Hall. There she has to take part in services and generally muck in. She’s going to a Saturday breakfast club next week, with a Speaker.
Of course there are almost as many different flavours of local church as there are milk and coffee combinations at Starbucks. In VIT’s case there are two parishes together in the usual incomprehensible Church of England formula which results in a parish called Lilliput St Gulliver with Laputa St Lindalino. (This same formula brought a friend of ours recently, newly instituted as parish priest, to post onto his Facebook status “I’m wondering how I ended up with 2 parishes but eight churchwardens.”)
Anyway, VIT has nice parishes to go to, although not hugely provided with children’s ministry. So the conundrum is, do I, as VHIT go and support my VIT with the VKITs (what a great sentence that is) or do we stay in our home church, in which the youngest VKIT, at least, is well established?
For some families who’ve moved to this little northern city far away, maybe it’s less complicated. The VIT has a placement parish, and families can go too, especially if there are small VKITs and a crèche. But for us it’s more of a conundrum. I have to confess to finding some experiences of church rather unfulfilling, but the one we go to close to home hits a few spots, and it seems odd to go somewhere else. Except that VIT is going somewhere else.
We’ve been a couple of times to the placement parish, and everyone treated us really nicely, almost as if we were the bright shiny “new young family with children” (even though I’m 46, I’m still one of the youngest there), but also as if we were going to be staying. Which, of course, we’re not. VIT is there to get trained and then to go on somewhere else. So if we go, we go….. because…. well… because it’s good to support the “other half” and when I go to a Sunday Eucharist, I quite like going to church with the person I’ve been married to for very nearly half my life.
But I think for me a major part of belonging to a church is belonging to a community. A flawed mixed up, messy, sometimes belligerent community, but a community nonetheless. And of course we have no intention whatsoever of having a long term relationship with the community of Lilliput St Gulliver with Laputa St Lindalino.
I’m still mulling on this…..
Had similar dilemma but in the end decided what was best for the children… This went for parish life then as curate’s wife- where husband had 4 churches to do but we tended to stay at one.
We did visit the parish of VIT- got free teas and even a brace of pheasants for Christmas dinner shot and hung by the church warden! I think they appreciate you going and being part of the activities but tend to understand the need to suit the children. We did get invited as guests of honour to the Christmas social dinner dance held in February in a hotel in the middle of nowhere 17 miles from Coverdale- I had to do a walzt with the other church warden who was over 80 and he was considered a young parishoner!
Oh Adrian, we miss you… from a flawed, mixed up, messy, sometimes belligerent friend! xxx